So I'm in Starbucks

Because Guiniverre's Coffee Shop and Art Gallery is closed for some artist's party. I'm here because I want a double espresso (or a doppio in Starbuckinese, or Italian). The line is pretty long, so I look at the sale items because I can always use a trusty travel mug. There are a few for sale and I find one I want and take it back with me on line. As I reach the cashier in his green-aproned statement that says I know about coffee and you don't, I ask, "If I buy one of these cups, do you give me the coffee for free still, or do I have to pay for the cup and the coffee." Which Starbucks-boy replies, "Yes." Well I am thinking yes what? Yes yes, it is free, or yes no, it is not? And now I am considering making the test true or false for everyone's benefit.

So my puzzlement and silence prompts him to speak forth, "If you buy the cup, you get a ten percent discount off of the drink you order." Ten fucking percent? Why don't you just give me a penny off the total cost of the drink and not insult me with ten percent? Especially when it used to be that you got the drink for free.

"I'll just take a double espresso, thanks," I say as I put the cup down, after which Sparky with the afro asks me if I want a doppio? Now I feel like yelling at this schmuck to not indoctrinate me in the ordering of coffee, that your secret language of drinks does not wash here. Instead, I nod and walk to the second line which is made up of a balding, pot bellied, middle-aged man in corporate get-up; tie and white shirt, navy-blue pants. Thank god I can wear jeans and a t-shirt to work.

Then I hear a Starbuckian yell, "Non-fat soy, double decaf latte!" Baldy looks at me with this sheepish grin as if we're in a porn store and I can see the filthy title of his wack material that he has selected for his viewing pleasure, and I cannot hide my disgust for his woossy drink order. I think I would have been more impressed if he was taking home some gay porn with a title like "Ass-spelunking Man-Cave Adventure."

So baldy takes his non-fat soy double decaf latte and hightails it outta there and I watch him go and think, my god, when did men become such pussies? This poor bastard brings home the bacon and he can't order a freaking latte...with milk, from a cow?

Just castrate us all now and pass the non-fat soy double decaf latte.

Did anyone see where I placed my red velvet pumps?

Not enough time

I have two programming projects, tests, and I am trying to increase the funny factor in Hotchpotch. On top of that, it is summer again (at least in Florida). You may not think it is, but believe me; IT IS SUMMER! In Florida, we have about four to six weeks of spring, after which we high-gear-it into summer. My grass is growing at an accelerated rate already and mowing into precious creative and study time.

And I hate summer. The only good thing about summer is that the little sullen brats that attend the nearby school won't be trapsing across my lawn and littering it with their candywrappers and other junkfood paraphenalia.

And another thing about summer vacation for all of you people who call yourselves parents out there; because it is summer does not mean that you get to take a vacation from being a parent! Your seven-year-olds do not get to play in the street after 9 PM! You do not drag your children out to Stuper Target at 10 PM! And...ah forget it.

I need to breed to combat the stupid genes permeating this planet.

Ocean Dead Zones

When a part of the ocean becomes void of oxygen that is vital to fish and plants, you get a dead zone. And the increasing number of dead zones and the increasing sizes of the already existing ones are posing a threat. These dead zones are threatening our oceans, wildlife, and eventually our lives.

And here is a little something extra about our poisoning of our environment and the food we consume.

Flash mob supercomputer

Software written at the University of San Francisco might allow a flash mob to turn its 1000 computers into a supercomputer. It sounds like they took the idea of a quantum computer and applied it to a flash mob network. Pretty neat.

Witch Torturing

In Angola, children have been accused of being witches and casting spells and curses. After the accusing, and just like in Salem, the children are tortured, denounced publicly, and kicked out of their families and homes.

Gag order

Republican commissioner John F. Lehman, who has written extensively on separation-of-power issues, said that "the White House is making a huge mistake" by blocking Rice's testimony and decried it as "a legalistic approach."
- from the Washington Post

It's all falling apart now

More people who have knowledge of the government's disregard for important intelligence pointing to the terrorist attacks of 9/11 are coming forward.

Women's rights takes a hit

Now I'm not a big fan of abortion, but I am definitely not a fan of anti-abortion and the crazed, glazed-eyed zealots that support it. A woman has a right to decide what to do with her own body. And now the women's right to life movement just took a hit because of the Laci Peterson murder and Bush's faith-based (and unconstitutional) government agenda. And also because it is an election year.

That's great.

Batman

Take a look at the people in this Batman movie! Looks like a winner.

What I want around me

I have decided that I want to move to a special place and this list is what I demand of the surroundings and my new home:

• A town of no more than 3,000 people


• An Internet connection (broadband of course)


• A large bathtub


• A quaint garden


• Several small grocery stores


• A couple of bakeries


• Two barber shops


• A comic book store


• A book store


• A movie rental store


• A movie theater


• About five good restaurants


• A couple of cafes


• A liquor store (that sells wine and liquor)


• A pharmacy


• Three nice parks (at least one with a lake)


• A theater (for live performances)


• A museum


• Hills or a mountain nearby


• And it must be between three to five hours from a major city, by car or rail

I think that's reasonable, don't you?

Evolution

The evolutionary split between early humans and apes may have begun with a tiny mutation in a gene for jaw muscles -- a lucky break that allowed the skull to grow and make room for the enormous brain that would eventually become the hallmark of Homo sapiens. - from the Mercury News

Way to go Israel

So by killing a prominent Islamic-a-hole-terrorist, Israel has increased the animosity between Israel, and not only Palestinians, but everyone else in the Middle East. I am not saying that Yassin did not deserve the fate he received, but leveling the playing field almost always takes away your moral high-ground; you know that bit of sorrow and empathy that actually helped the world see Israel's plight through sympathetic eyes. So in essence, Sharon has done just what the US did with its pity factor after 9/11 and pissed it away.

Sharon, you are an f-ing idiot.

Really?

So it takes a bi-partisan panel and a guy with balls who served two parties' presidential cabinets to tell everyone what almost everyone knows, but is afraid to admit; the war in Iraq eroded our effectiveness against terrorism!

I really like this Clarke guy.

France finds rail bomb

France found a bomb placed on a rail line between Paris and Switzerland. No one is claiming responsibility, yet.

9/11 Panel not about finding the truth

This inquisition, like any other, is not about finding the truth or solutions, but about laying blame. Already, people are running for cover by stating that they had no intelligence data indicating a threat. We already know that we had information about a planned terror strike and that the data either never got to the right people or was ignored.

And that's how you give someone a spanking

Damn! The European Union just put a smack-down on Microsoft for its unfair business practices against rival companies. I wonder how our government feels about this decision, which eclipses the mild slap on the wrist we gave Gates and company?

France in retrospect

France was great. I really dug the way they live and work and eat and drink. Nothing is as processed or cookie cutter as over here. There is always a surprise or something different and it is usually good, or great.

And most of their graphic novels are very sophisticated and creative. And the art in the graphic novels is really good.

We went to Montmartre and climbed to the top of the dome of the Basilica of Sacre Couer, went to the second level of the Eiffel Tower, saw many impressionists at the Musee d'Orsay, many renaissance paintings at the Louvre, and toasted Hemingway at Harry's New York Bar (one of his favorite bars).

All in all, my wife and I didn't want to leave, but at the same time we were happy to be back in our home.

If you'd like to see some of the places we went you can go here:

Basilique du Sacré Coeur

Musee d'Orsay

The Louvre

Opera Garnier

Rodin Museum

Harry's New York Bar

In Paris

And these keyboards are hell. Hey, look at that, I just found where the period button is.

Paris is beautiful. The Hotel Langlois is great. We are in a nice quiet neighborhood a few blocks from the Opera Garnier, which is amazing, with its gold statues at the top. We also went to Musee d' Orsay and looked at the impressionists like Degas and Monet.

The French have been very kind, but they sure like their rooms hot, like 80 degrees F HOT. I am outta here before I die of dehydration.

Spain has terror caused catastrophe

Over 150 people have been killed, or should I say murdered by terrorists in Spain. What the f*%k is wrong with people? Killing hundreds of people is no way to get people on your side.

Of course, our President doesn't miss a beat to get his name in the papers.

Going to Paris

I'm going to Paris tomorrow with my wife. If I have Internet access at my hotel, I will be blogging the trip so you can hear about my amazing adventures overseas and my business meeting with the boys at Stenarts about Hotchpotch (coming out in August of this year).

Now only if my shuttle service from the aeroport to the hotel would get back to me on my reservation, I could rest a little easier.

Au revoir, mon ami.

Pistols at dawn?

These two idiot farmers had a duel over an argument that had been brewing between them for decades. Ah, humanity never ceases to amuse me.

Don't take any crap, Kerry

It is nice to hear a politician give those GOP bastards hell, even if it wasn't supposed to be heard by everyone.

Or was it? If it was, it was bloody brilliant!

Scary, intolerant, racists in my backyard

C'mon guys, the only people who like Nazis are other Nazis. Other ignorant, scared little people with tired ideas and failed dreams.

Get a f%*king life.

Regime change

"What cannot be seriously contested is that Aristide did not go voluntarily in any meaningful sense, and that the Bush administration was the primary instrument in his removal. It is debatable, yet doubtful, whether the Haitian rebels could have achieved his removal on their own. Whoever the US came into protect, it was not the Haitian people. Even as they were advising people to stay out of the country because it was not safe they were sending Haitian boat people, fleeing the crisis, back home."

Bad budgeting

Military spending is at its highest since the Cold War, our deficit is through the roof, and our economy is in the toilet.

I hope we can change this before it gets even worse

A whistle blower, of sorts

"Except for 1983, the percentage of federal tax receipts from corporate income taxes last year was the lowest since data was first published in 1934, Buffett said."

Wow, color me impressed; an honest businessman?

Ouch

First they kidnap you and then they castrate you. And then you are sold to roving gangs of eunuchs. What the hell? It's like some bad gay porn horror flick.

Damn. Castration.

Damn.

It's getting hot in harrrrrrr....

Yes, Nelly, my mildly talented thug, it is. According to scientist in Europe, the continent suffered its hottest summer in 500 years and the temperatures just seem to keep on rising. And that's the global warming update on the hip-hop tip.

Peace out.

Cheap nuclear energy maybe here soon

Supposedly, scientist Rusi Taleyarkhan's team has confirmed that they can produce nuclear fusion using sound and liquid hydrogen in a rather simple experiment. This could mean the beginning of cheap and easy nuclear fusion for generating energy.

Haiti goes down the spiral

"Each night, the sounds of gunfire echo through Port-au-Prince. Each morning, the results can be seen on the streets. Bodies – mainly those of people who did more than just breach the curfew – lie scattered in various places throughout the capital."

Please, just watch Animal Planet

Or go to to the zoo or an animal related theme park. The ecotourism boom is stressing the aimals and endangering their lives.

Mass Elk Deaths in Wyoming

Over 280 elk have died and we have no clue as to what is the cause.

It's cut your baby with a sword day!

What the f%*k! Hey, here's and idea; in honor of one of our most revered saints, let us slice our child with a sword!

Thanks Jacqui

More bad economic news for us

Seems the World Trade Organization is fining the hell out of the USA for not conforming to its rulings. And Europe is pretty pissed at us, so they are hiking the tariffs on several of our products to teach us a lesson.

The Puppet-Master speaks

Cheney speaks on Aristide's resignation. This guy has to have so much money and power, otherwise he'd have been brought up on charges before a congressional grand jury already. Just look at how the Supreme Court is handling Cheney's energy trial.

Like Cuba all over again

Remember when we clandestinely supported Fidel Castro's overthrowing of the Cuban government in the 50's? And how he told us to go screw ourselves and went red on us? Just take a look at Haiti right now. Between accusations of a forced removal and resignation and the rebels not giving up their weapons or complying with our requests, it sounds like Cuba all over again.

In case you forgot why we are in Iraq

Very good Flash film made up of Bush, Powell, and Chaney actual press snippets that outline the reasons we went into Iraq.

Their friends, but not that good of friends

After the September 11, 2001 attacks on the United States, Pakistan became a key ally in the U.S.-led war on terror and has arrested hundreds of al Qaeda suspects. But it says it will never allow foreign troops to hunt for militants on its soil.

And you really can't blame them. Although one has to wonder, no matter how friendly thier governent is toward us, how friendly are the people?